Women have come a long way in regard to earning respect, careers, breaking boundaries, and speaking up, among other areas. However, despite the perception that women are sooo equal, I think the idea that the ideal woman has come a long way isn’t a fair judgement.
So, What Makes a ‘Good’ Woman Today?
First of all, I think it is crazy that women are even judged as good or bad. It goes back to the Madonna vs. the whore representation in the media. Men want to marry Madonna, and if you aren’t a sweet and innocent woman then you’re just someone they want to sleep with and not marry. Which is stupid.
I feel that to be a ‘good’ woman we are expected to be polite, ‘lady-like’, confident but not too confident, not vain, pretty, shaven, smiley, organised, hard-working, maternal, charismatic, and successful but not a “ball-breaker”. Obviously this isn’t what everyone feels thankfully, and I surround myself with people that don’t feel this way. However, I do feel that in society in general, what is perceived to be a ‘good’ woman is made up of these qualities. Women that are sexual, confident in their skin and sexuality, and enjoy sleeping with different people are looked down upon and perceived negatively. Despite how far we have come for women being sexualy liberated, women that do explore their sexuality are seen as sluts or “hussys” as my mum’s generation would probably say.
A major difference for women today is the workplace. While there is a long way to go getting women into high-ranking and influential positions, there is obviously a huge shift in the idea of women as working professionals. Nowadays, a woman that wants to be a stay at home mum is almost judged for this and not wanting a career, when in reality, if that is what they wish to do, let them. On the other hand, women that work full time and have children are often seen as bad mothers or not maternal. We can’t really win.
Why Do Men Not Get Judged In The Same Way?
Men can sleep around with very little detriment to how they’re viewed as a person. They’re seen as bachelors rather than sluts. For some reason words like slut, whore and slag are associated with women, and not men. When they are used to describe a man, man is often used as a prefix, for example ‘man whore’. There aren’t really any words I can think of that are the male equivalent of these derogatory terms.
Why Do We Even Judge Women?
I wish we could live in a world where a woman isn’t judged on her perceived value or decisions. If a woman wants to be sleep around or be a virgin, who cares. If she wants to be a CEO or a stay at home mum, who cares. Women are beautiful, multi-faceted human beings that are made up of many different personalities, decisions, emotions, experiences, and everything else! Unfortunately, women are often judged on these basic and archaic ideas. I think we like to think and pretend we’ve come really far in women’s rights but there is still these 50s style opinions, wrapped up in a progressive bow to make them seem less shit. At the end of the day, we live in a patriarchy and it probably comes down to what men want and think women should be. If a woman is confident in herself and powerful, that disrupts the patriarchy and so must be brought down a peg or two to keep things in line.
Hopefully we can look inwards when we judge people and think why we do this. Just let women be pls xoxo